Try to understand, i've been working on accepting something i could never be cool with. It's kinda the hardest time of my life right now, I just can't be ok all the time. I'm sorry if I let you down, I'm sorry if it didn't go the way we expected to, but sometimes i just don't know how to deal anymore.
My life has always been so damn easy, and now it's not anymore. And nobody told me how to do that, i'm trying to learn by myself, but it's so fucking hard! I don't wanna live like this eather, I never wanted us to be this way, but... I never had to live in a different way than this and now that i have to, i just don't know how.
I know it's hard for you, i know you're not okay, but i really wish you wanted to share things with me, i wanted to become a part of you and you just didn't let me.
My life has always been so damn easy, and now it's not anymore. And nobody told me how to do that, i'm trying to learn by myself, but it's so fucking hard! I don't wanna live like this eather, I never wanted us to be this way, but... I never had to live in a different way than this and now that i have to, i just don't know how.
I know it's hard for you, i know you're not okay, but i really wish you wanted to share things with me, i wanted to become a part of you and you just didn't let me.
That's why, you know? That's why things are always so weird between us. I wanted a part of you that you wouldn't give me and you wanted me to learn something right the way that i never thought i'd have to. And neither of us was patient enough to really wait for the changes to come; we had our "break", but we never gave each other time.
We were so damn awesome together that it never came to me that it would be like this. I'm really sorry about it. You know what i feel and that's something that's never gonna change. I tried to be, for you, something anyone would ever try to. And I failed. I was never more than someone else.
I was waiting so hard for the day you would take off your necklace and your ring, but you never did. And when i realized you wouldn't, it came to me that i would never be the only one. Maybe you really are better off without me, maybe he can really give you a life that i couldn't.
But i still don't like it. When we were together, for real, we never had a reason to be mad at each other. Back then, we shared stuff, you were a part of me as i was a part of you. And when it was over, we were not working anymore. You know why? Cause we're only awesome together, we're not supposed to be good being apart.
I never cried so much in my whole life like this last month and, specially, this last week. We could've been so fucking great and we ruined it. And i'm afraid to tell you all these things cause i've always been so damn proud... but it never took me anywhere, did it?
My heart says "you freaking idiot, don't let her run away like this, go after her, fight for who you love". And you know, my brain is in stand by mode.
I'm such a coward!
I really wish i could make everything different, i wish i could change everything and make it better for us. But do you wish the same or do you just think "it's better this way"?
I DON'T FUCKING WANT IT TO END UP RIGHT NOW!
Can we, just for once, do the way I WANT? I've covered up for you, trying not to be on your way when you had to make a decision or something, i tried not to mess up your thoughts, i tried to do what i felt was best for you.
But i never tried to follow my heart, i never tried to stop thinking too much for once in my damn life and do something for myself. Now i'm doing this for myself. I'm changing. I had to break my heart twice to understand i was being a dick. I'm sorry baby, and i understand if you don't wanna go back on your decisions.
But i'm leaving now. I'm leaving this body to be a little better. I'm improving myself. Now i'm starting to make things simple again, to be just like i was when i was eight. No worries, no complications. Will you let me try again? Will you give me another chance to make things better? Please don't say it's too late.
You're the one worth fighting for and that's what i'm doing. I'm killing my pride to see i had to change. I'm a kid... You gotta take it easy on me, you gotta understand i have to walk on baby steps. I know you told me once that you don't go back...
But if you love me as much as i love you, if you trust me, please, let me use this back up plan and be the best i can. For you AND for me. This time, with no pressure, no jealousy, no freaking out. Will you take me back?
We were so damn awesome together that it never came to me that it would be like this. I'm really sorry about it. You know what i feel and that's something that's never gonna change. I tried to be, for you, something anyone would ever try to. And I failed. I was never more than someone else.
I was waiting so hard for the day you would take off your necklace and your ring, but you never did. And when i realized you wouldn't, it came to me that i would never be the only one. Maybe you really are better off without me, maybe he can really give you a life that i couldn't.
But i still don't like it. When we were together, for real, we never had a reason to be mad at each other. Back then, we shared stuff, you were a part of me as i was a part of you. And when it was over, we were not working anymore. You know why? Cause we're only awesome together, we're not supposed to be good being apart.
I never cried so much in my whole life like this last month and, specially, this last week. We could've been so fucking great and we ruined it. And i'm afraid to tell you all these things cause i've always been so damn proud... but it never took me anywhere, did it?
My heart says "you freaking idiot, don't let her run away like this, go after her, fight for who you love". And you know, my brain is in stand by mode.
I'm such a coward!
I really wish i could make everything different, i wish i could change everything and make it better for us. But do you wish the same or do you just think "it's better this way"?
I DON'T FUCKING WANT IT TO END UP RIGHT NOW!
Can we, just for once, do the way I WANT? I've covered up for you, trying not to be on your way when you had to make a decision or something, i tried not to mess up your thoughts, i tried to do what i felt was best for you.
But i never tried to follow my heart, i never tried to stop thinking too much for once in my damn life and do something for myself. Now i'm doing this for myself. I'm changing. I had to break my heart twice to understand i was being a dick. I'm sorry baby, and i understand if you don't wanna go back on your decisions.
But i'm leaving now. I'm leaving this body to be a little better. I'm improving myself. Now i'm starting to make things simple again, to be just like i was when i was eight. No worries, no complications. Will you let me try again? Will you give me another chance to make things better? Please don't say it's too late.
You're the one worth fighting for and that's what i'm doing. I'm killing my pride to see i had to change. I'm a kid... You gotta take it easy on me, you gotta understand i have to walk on baby steps. I know you told me once that you don't go back...
But if you love me as much as i love you, if you trust me, please, let me use this back up plan and be the best i can. For you AND for me. This time, with no pressure, no jealousy, no freaking out. Will you take me back?
Will you be my pig once more?
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